All in all is what we are

       Listen up. 
  People may come and go in your life.You must embrace every opportunity you get and try to make the best of everything.Don’t quit,unless it is not worth it anymore...
                                                                             don’t be scared of it,you may lose it. 
  

  Nobody will be there to ease your pain.You must put it in the thing you’re good at;don’t waste it into addiction. 
 Work hard for everything,be thankful to anyone that offers you help and do not ever stop running. If you ever do that...
                                       others will try to take control over your life. 


  Be who the hell you want to be. Smile to all them haters. 
 Spend your time doing something that will count,no matter if it is for your future or your inner happiness.
   Have no fear of people,them all have their weakness...
                discover theirs and feed up yours to death.   

 Be damn good at what you’re good. 
 Everybody will hurt you at some point,learn to only trust yourself. 
 And always be happy,you don’t know your own purpose in this life, neither do others...
 So have fun and don’t regret none single choice that you’ve made. 
                                                                           You must be your own player,kid.

Same old story

O marioneta in mainile tale
Nu are nevoie de multe cuvinte
Ii incordezi in simtiri mrejele pana se rup.
Ramane eliberata;
Eliberata de imboldul ei de viata.
Pana atunci ea nu deosebea
Pistolul de caleidoscop
Decat daca le detonai pe amandoua.
Ai taiat sforile.
Vezi? Se usuca usor la pamant.
Sforile iti scapa usor din mana
Marioneta incearca.
Nu se ridica,nu poate.
Se zvarcoleste usor la pamant,
Tu razi de ea.
Spectacolul a fost un dezastru.
Tu o parasesti cu sforile atarnande.
Fumul ispitelor ii inabusa gandirea.
Marioneta a fost eliberata.
Fructul pulsiunilor temporare se coace.
Marioneta este eliberata.
 Realitatea ei se schimba.
Marioneta va fi eliberata.

Dar lumea inca uita...

   Tot aici ma aflu,tot pe acolo umblu,tot asta simt si tot ceea ce gandesc scriu. Nu,nu mai e chiar la fel. Incerc mereu sa ma reinventez,sa ma redescopar in realitati externe fiecare mai diferite si bolnave decat altele. E o instrainare,o instrainare de propria persoana ; o abandonare a ceva de care nu pot scapa. Incerc sa descopar franturi din propria fiinta in orice altceva decat in mine ;ma simt straina fata de propria mea persoana.Mi-am devenit o simpla cunostiinta, precum acea persoana care te recunoaste pe strada si iti zambeste,verificandu-si apoi telefonul in speranta ca a primit un mesaj. Simt in mine prea multe contradictii si tensiuni. Atunci cand ele rabufnesc ma pot opri in sfarsit si pot petrece cateva momente privind in trecut. Nu pot spune ca acest fapt imi elibereaza vreo emotie adanca,dar imi readuc in memorie instant lumea mea uitata,cea in care obisnuiam sa ma simt in siguranta. Acea lume pictata in culori pastelate si murdare,tari si vascoase; dominate de acele nuante in care obisnuiam sa traiesc :monotone,tipatoare dar slabe. 
   La contactul iminent cu lumea de care tu apartineai,m-am indragostit ireversibil. Toata agitatia,fumul,pericolul,chitarile,muzica,rock-ul si indrazneala mi-au captat intreaga fiinta intr-o scrumiera pe care o mai folosesc si acum,o viata intr-o dependenta continua. Inca mai cant la chitara,sa stii. Macar corzile chitarii pot vibra si simti acum emotiile mele. Stiu ca nu asta ma satisface. Cantecul meu nu imi mai are acceasi continuitate,tot ceea ce scriu nu mai poseda acceasi emotie ;nu mai transmite nimic. Dar nu as putea renunta la nimic ce inca imi pastreaza alaturi mici farame din fiinta ta si poate si a mea,asa cum obisnuia ea sa-mi fie pe plac. In mediul in care ma invart acum,cautandu-ma, deosebesc prea multa instrainare de sine din partea celorlalti,asa ca am nevoie de ceva care sa ma mentina intregita. Am nevoie de amintiri,de glasuri,de melodii la chitara cantate in zile ploioase si triste,de orice ma face sa ma simt in siguranta. Am nevoie de un parfum,o prima strigare,un prim cantec,un prim moment,un prim sarut, un prim sentiment,o prima minciuna,orice m-ar readuce pe aceeasi linie de plutire cu orizontul in care ma regasesc cel mai mult. Nu stiu daca imi voi putea nega la nesfarsit propriul sine sau fugi din calea sa,dar stiu ca daca ma voi opri acum, voi ceda cu siguranta. Nu am luat niciodata cu mine mai mult decat ceea ce am avut nevoie. Amintirile sunt refugiul meu preferat,nimic mai mult sau mai putin decat ele. Am calatorit cu ele peste tot si nu m-au dezamagit in ceasurile grele niciodata. In ele imi gasesc linistea,ele imi mai striga uneori ecouri ciobite ale fiintei mele. Ele imi omagiaza mereu tot ceea ce am iubit eu vreodata. Modul meu de gandire s-a schimbat drastic si nu cred ca mai pot privi totul la fel vreodata. Inca mai alerg,caut,descopar,pierd,distrug,parasesc si regret.

Dear God,

Please,forgive me and my mistakes.

I know that now I can’t just go back and start over

I have to continue what I have started.

Otherwise,I’ll stop for forever.

No,I do not think that picking between rose and stone is the hard part

I guess that letting the rose break and the stone crack is much worse.

If you want just one. But go on living with just one. Stone will be your soul.

You can’t have the rose back.

You can only watch it fall in anybody’s dusty hands.

You still have its smell that refrains your spirit from time to time

It feels just like flashes of moments trapped in time

Everything from the past gets trapped in time.

Petals and red got trapped in time,this is how it’s supposed to be.

A part of me gets trapped in time.

I run away from it,I run away from me.

I can hear the stone cracking too. I can’t stop.

It is just under my feet. I can step on it. I don’t have any feelings. Stone is my soul.

I just became one. I don’t need it anymore.

The rose starts to blossom inside but now I can only breathe.

But then remember to hold my breath for a moment

And then it hits me like rain:in the humming of the world I can still hear the rose breaking.

I can’t stop to listen to it,I must wander around forever.

This shall be my punishment and salvation.